It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do and it's very hard to judge when you should and how you should. For me, it really was a struggle and here's my story of how I came out.
I came out to one of my teachers before anybody when we were writing college essays. This was before I cut my hair and all of that fun stuff so I expected doubt and people to ask me if I was really sure of what I was feeling. But she didn't ask or question it at all - in fact, she seemed interested and fascinated by it which really gave me the courage to come out to other people. After that I told my friends. I sat them down one by one whenever I got the time alone with them and just talked it through with them. They were all super supportive of it and it felt really nice to know that they had my back.
Then came my parents. They were a different story. By the time I was telling my parents, I had already cut my hair and was starting to transition already. I invited them to a therapy session with me and that's where I told them. It was very awkward. It was very quiet. They didn't react adversely to it, they just didn't really react at all. It was really hard trying to explain it to them because they were very naive about transgenders.
My therapist tried to explain it to them and they just really seemed to have a hard time understanding what it was and what it's like to be transgender. I don't quite think they know how to support it either. They don't really know what to do and they're still trying their hardest to hold onto the idea that I'm female: body and mind.
But anyways, I came out to them. It was actually really terrible and I cried the whole time because I was really scared of telling them. I knew they weren't very accepting in that aspect but I don't blame them because I find that their generation wasn't exposed to those things and I know that when we all see new things we're all cautious in the beginning.
Since then, my parent's haven't spoken of it once outside of one time Mom tried to convince me out of it. Not everyone's going to have supportive parents. I get it I really do guys. I just want those of you who are struggling with your parents to understand that you aren't alone and there are people who are in a situation similar to yours. It's hard - super hard. But if you just keep your head up and I'll tell you that if you're in high school, college comes faster than you think. Just keep in mind that college is coming and although you can't completely separate yourself from your parents, you can start to be your own person. You can take things upon yourself whether you want to transition or not or how fast you want to do it.
Just remember that it's difficult for parents to understand sometimes. I didn't quite understand this until my teacher and I talked about it - it's a grieving process for your parents. Not that being transgender is bad, but because they must now re-think the future they had planned out in their head for you. Things aren't as they thought they would be and it's hard to erase everything you have previously thought and create a new future in your mind for your transgender child.
All in all, when you do decide to come out, I'd recommend coming out to someone you know you can trust and that you know will be on board with it. Having just that little bit of support can do a long way and that way you have someone to fall back on and talk to.
Thanks for reading guys and thank you for the support! I'll be posting new entries every week and if you have any questions or comments post them in the comments section below. I appreciate every ounce of support I get and I really hope I can help you guys out!
Also, feel free to e-mail me at morwinslow@gmail.com if you have a personal question or just want to learn more!
See you all next week!
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