Coming Out

Lets talk about coming out.

It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do and it's very hard to judge when you should and how you should.  For me, it really was a struggle and here's my story of how I came out.

I came out to one of my teachers before anybody when we were writing college essays.  This was before I cut my hair and all of that fun stuff so I expected doubt and people to ask me if I was really sure of what I was feeling.  But she didn't ask or question it at all - in fact, she seemed interested and fascinated by it which really gave me the courage to come out to other people.  After that I told my friends.  I sat them down one by one whenever I got the time alone with them and just talked it through with them.  They were all super supportive of it and it felt really nice to know that they had my back.

Then came my parents.  They were a different story.  By the time I was telling my parents, I had already cut my hair and was starting to transition already.  I invited them to a therapy session with me and that's where I told them.  It was very awkward.  It was very quiet.  They didn't react adversely to it, they just didn't really react at all.  It was really hard trying to explain it to them because they were very naive about transgenders.  

My therapist tried to explain it to them and they just really seemed to have a hard time understanding what it was and what it's like to be transgender.  I don't quite think they know how to support it either.  They don't really know what to do and they're still trying their hardest to hold onto the idea that I'm female: body and mind.  

But anyways, I came out to them.  It was actually really terrible and I cried the whole time because I was really scared of telling them.  I knew they weren't very accepting in that aspect but I don't blame them because I find that their generation wasn't exposed to those things and I know that when we all see new things we're all cautious in the beginning.  

Since then, my parent's haven't spoken of it once outside of one time Mom tried to convince me out of it.  Not everyone's going to have supportive parents.  I get it I really do guys.  I just want those of you who are struggling with your parents to understand that you aren't alone and there are people who are in a situation similar to yours.  It's hard - super hard.  But if you just keep your head up and I'll tell you that if you're in high school, college comes faster than you think.  Just keep in mind that college is coming and although you can't completely separate yourself from your parents, you can start to be your own person.  You can take things upon yourself whether you want to transition or not or how fast you want to do it.  

Just remember that it's difficult for parents to understand sometimes.  I didn't quite understand this until my teacher and I talked about it - it's a grieving process for your parents.  Not that being transgender is bad, but because they must now re-think the future they had planned out in their head for you.  Things aren't as they thought they would be and it's hard to erase everything you have previously thought and create a new future in your mind for your transgender child.  

All in all, when you do decide to come out, I'd recommend coming out to someone you know you can trust and that you know will be on board with it.  Having just that little bit of support can do a long way and that way you have someone to fall back on and talk to.

Thanks for reading guys and thank you for the support! I'll be posting new entries every week and if you have any questions or comments post them in the comments section below.  I appreciate every ounce of support I get and I really hope I can help you guys out!

Also, feel free to e-mail me at morwinslow@gmail.com if you have a personal question or just want to learn more!

See you all next week!

How Do You Know If You're Transgender?

Hello once again people of the internet!  I have returned once again for another weekly post and this one is about a question I get a lot.
Since my transition hasn't really gone anywhere, I figured I'd answer a question!

"How do I know if I'm transgender or not?"

The first thing I'll say about this is that if you chose to be transgender, you most likely aren't.  Being transgender isn't something you choose-it's something that subconsciously is always there that you can't get rid of.  Being transgender is classified as a Gender Identity Disorder which causes someone to feel very uncomfortable with the body, gender, ect. they were given at birth.  It's not something you decide yourself and it's more of a feeling more than anything. It's not just a gender preference or something I wanted, it was something I actually felt.  I didn't start thinking I was transgender up until I was in Middle School.  Before then, I just had a feeling of not feeling right in the body I had but I figured it was something everybody went through.  It's very hard to describe but imagine this.
Imagine waking up and your body isn't your own.  Imagine it's a body that you didn't really want and you don't really like and imagine having to go out and walk around and greet people.  When you think of yourself you think your old face, but when you look in the mirror it's something different.  
That's about as good of an example I'll ever be able to come up with.  It's a very hard feeling to describe to someone.  But when I did learn what transgenders were I had that feeling of relief that I wasn't the only person feeling this way and that there was a name for it.  That was four years ago and I waited all that time to finally come out to my family and friends because I wanted to make sure that this is what I wanted.  
Plus I was terrified to tell anyone but that's a whole different story.
But, back to the main question: How do you know if you're transgender or not?  Ask yourself these questions:

Did I make this decision over a year ago and have I stuck with it?
Have I always felt this way? (Be honest with yourself)
Was being transgender something I didn't chose for myself?
Am I older than 15?
Do I do it because I truly feel transgender or do I like the opposite sex/a different sex for their appearance, voice, build, ect?

If you answered all of these questions with "Yes" and the last one with "Because I truly feel transgender", I'd say that you just might be trans!  Get your binders, packers, stps, and all of that other trans junk ready because you're about to go on one hell of an adventure.

If you have anything to add I'd love to hear what you guys have to say or if you have a question post it in the comments section below and I will do my best to answer it.
Thank you all for the support guys, I've gotten so much positive feedback it has really inspired me to make this blog as awesome as it possibly can be.
Thank you all!

First Post Oh Dear

I hereby declare the existence of my blog about being a trans man and my transition along answering questions people may have about anything related to male transgenders.
I'm really hoping that this blog will hopefully help people and encourage other trans men and women to come out and just flaunt who you are.  Although I won't be talking much about trans women since I have no experience with it and therefore have no place in talking about the technicalities of it and how it's like.  I'd also love to educate people about being trans and what it's like because I realize that there are a lot of misconceptions about it and it's a very hush hush topic.
NOW, time for the actual blog entry.

Hello people!  My name is Morgan and I am a proud trans man.  Just two months ago (December 2014) I came out as transgender to my parents.  My friends and a few teachers didn't know up until a few months before my parents so this is really new to everyone, including myself.  My parents' response was less than impressive-awkward pauses, silence, and then trying to convince me out of it.  My friends and teachers were completely supportive of me and my preferences and I can't thank them enough for that. 

But, lets talk about how it felt to come out.
Coming out was probably one of the most uncomfortable things I think I've ever done.  Even though you know your friends aren't going to be opposed to it you're still terrified to be like "Hey guys I'm actually a dude." 
I think everyone I told gave me the three or so seconds of looking at me and just letting themselves shatter all previous notions about me and attempting to absorb this new information. 
And that's not even the hard part.  When people know you're trans and use the wrong pronouns they just look at you with eternal dread like they just ran your cat over with their lawnmower.  And then they correct themselves and it's really uncomfortable because they say it like a question- "he...?" and then you say yes and try to forget it ever happened. 
And it's even worse if you're around people who don't know and your friend says the pronouns you prefer and everyone thinks your friend is mentally incompetent or you're trans.  High school students aren't the most 'accepting' crowd ever guys. 

My parents aren't supportive of my decision.  Mom tries to talk me out of it but tends to just avoid the topic in general.  My father hasn't said one thing about it since I came out two months ago, and when I ask my Mother to help me transition (buying a binder, shorter hair, ect) she's very quick to say "No."
So when college rolls around I'm going to transition on my own, hopefully start up on hormone therapy and hopefully I won't score the "Most Disappointing Child" award.

Also if you guys want to ask me questions about being trans, passing (I don't know a whole lot about this but I can try), or really anything at all just ask!
I don't know if this site offers that type of thing or a commenting system or something but I'll figure it out (This is such a 'Grandpa's first computer' moment)