Near nothing has changed. I'm trying to be more 'myself' rather than what my parents want me to be. I'm going to go and get my septum pierced on the 18th and hopefully they won't be too mad. And because I'm the biggest crybaby I'm probably going to cry or faint or vomit or all of those at the same time.
On an even more embarrassing note, I went to Kohls because that's a store I feel comfortable in since my mother is very much into spending much more than needed on clothes. I went with my friend and we walked around for a bit until deciding on buying some boxers for me. First of, clothing stores don't expect a 110 lb, small framed guy to shop there because finding my size was like finding a needle in a haystack. I did eventually find it- put in the corner on the top shelf because what kind of American is this tiny. I picked out the colors I wanted and walked to checkout with my friend.
Only to find out I didn't have enough money because for some reason 4 pieces of flappy fabric cost $40. So I then had to do that awkward thing where you go through your wallet hoping it'll grow hands and hand you another $20. And then you panic.
And then you realize you're actually broke and you have to tell the woman at the counter you don't have the money and awkwardly walk your broke-ass out of the store.
So I went to Big-Y, bought a double-shot Starbucks canned coffee and drowned my sorrows.
On another note, my therapist gave me some helpful advice to change my name. I know that my name right now can go for either male or female persons, but my therapist said that changing my name might help my parents realize my 'rebirth', so to speak, and it may help them understand it. After thinking for awhile I'm really considering Shay because I just really love that name. But only time will tell!
Thank you all for supporting me and reading about my transition and all of the other junk I write! Feel free to ask questions, comment or email me at morwinslow@gmail.com!
